My Approach
We tend to view the spectrum of emotional experience from a perspective of “good” and “bad.” We often want and accept emotional experiences such as joy, inspiration, connection, and love. But we violently reject experiences of anger, sadness, jealousy, or loneliness. We then approach mental and emotional health from the premise that there must be “something wrong” with us. That if only we could surgically remove these malfunctioning parts then we would finally run like a well-oiled machine.
I believe that there is meaning in the entire spectrum of emotional experience: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I believe that our emotional symptoms are giving us important information about our psychological health in much the same way that our physical symptoms give us information about our physical health. If you broke your leg and experienced excruciating pain, we would not say, “What is wrong with you!?” We would say, “It makes sense that you are in pain. Let’s get you to a doctor who can set the bone and put you in a cast so your leg can heal.”
The problem is that many of us were never taught how to “read” our emotional symptoms, especially the more challenging and unpleasant ones. We try to push them down, out of sight and out of mind. But the harder we push these parts away, the more forcefully they return. This is much like trying to push a beach ball underwater and then watching it shoot up into the air. Even if we do manage to hold it underwater for a length of time, this requires a tremendous amount of energy.
Learning how to understand our experiences and needs can be especially challenging if aspects of ourselves do not fit dominant cultural or social values. This is often the case with sensitive, smart, and/or introverted individuals whose experiences tend to differ greatly from mainstream norms. These individuals may struggle to define their needs at all. Even if they can identify some, they may judge them as “bad,” “wrong,” or unrealistic.
The good news is that once we start understanding our unique needs, we are then able to begin meeting them directly. We are able to find compatible friends, partners, and communities and to cultivate a life that works for us rather than against us.
My Philosophy
“I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
and it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill. Iam ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self…”
- D.H. Lawrence
My Process
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1. Understand
Growing up, you may not have had anybody to help you make sense of your lived experience as it might have been so very different from that of others. You may have grown up feeling alienated and misunderstood on a deep, existential level. Being listened to within a warm, authentic, and understanding therapeutic relationship can help to repair some of these “missing puzzle pieces.”
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2. Educate
Life-long misunderstanding can lead to a perpetual state of inner confusion and harsh judgment. Learning about models (such as MBTI and the enneagram as well as topics such as gifted psychology, neurodivergence, and highly sensitive people) brings form and definition to your complex and multifaceted world. This knowledge also helps you to reframe your experience through a lens of curiosity and acceptance rather than criticism.
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3. Clarify
You may struggle to trust your internal guidance system. You may have tried to “fit in” for so long that you have forgotten who you really are underneath the mask. This discrepancy between inner desire and outer appearance causes an internal split, leading to disconnection and distress. I gently guide clients to develop the courage and discernment to identify and trust their “inner compass,” sometimes for the first time.
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4. Act
All of the insight in the world won’t do us any good if it cannot also be integrated into our day-to-day lives. I help you to identify tangible, actionable steps to take towards your goals in order to create a life that you do not need to escape from. I want you to graduate from therapy empowered with tools to find meaning, connection, and purpose wherever life may carry you.
“I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.” - Kurt Vonnegut
Are We A Fit?
Prioritize authenticity and growth over comfort: Your family expected you to become a doctor or a lawyer, and you decided to pursue your passion for anthropology. You walked away from the partner who looked perfect “on paper,” risking a season of solitude in search of a deeper love. Maybe you lost a job standing up for what you know to be right and just.
Take action to turn your dreams into reality: You’re not just talking about learning archery, you’re signing up for class next week. You’re not going to write a novel “some day,” you’re at your local coffee shop finishing typing up chapter 10.
Feel as deeply as you think: You could be successful at whatever you set your mind to, but you cannot set your mind to work that isn’t meaningful. The idea of “climbing the ladder” by stepping on others is viscerally painful. You want to use your gifts to create a more just and beautiful world.
Think outside of the box: You are an innovator, constantly thinking about ways that preexisting systems could be improved upon and expanded. You might be interested in holistic or alternative medical practices. Perhaps you are an entrepreneur working on leaving the 9-5 grind. You might be invested in creating systems for more equitable health care, housing, urban planning, or food distribution.
Have the basics covered: Your survival needs are met (food, shelter, medical care, paying the bills) and you are looking to create a more satisfying and meaningful life. You are able to commit to meeting at least twice monthly without impairing basic needs in another area of your life.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”
- Einstein
What Does “Alchemical” Mean?
Alchemy was the medieval forefather of chemistry whose mission was to turn lead into gold. Symbolically, the alchemical process is one of transformation. When something or someone transforms, they transcend one state of being to another all at once. This is different from the typical, linear model of growth where change unfolds slowly but surely, one step at a time.
Both types of growth are important. And honestly, much of our progress in life will be the plodding, linear kind. This is necessary and important. But sooner or later, life will force us into a corner. There’s no way out. We can’t go forward, we can’t go back. We can’t go up, we can’t go down. We can’t go through, we can’t go around. In these moments, we often feel like we have failed. But if we have the courage to see it through, these are the very moments which are ripe for transformation.